me? me.

02Jul07

Here are five things regarding feminism to finish one of those meme things. This is my first meme tag. Oh, and here’s my pre-requisite *blush* hah!

1. have you ever noticed how much these two women look alike?

2. M.I.L.F.

I understand that this is a compliment. It’s fun. Mother I would like to FRENCH.

Good, now who gets to author such statements? Every frat guy who posseses none of the qualities that the neighborhood MILF has?

If you’re going to use that word, doesn’t it seem fair that you should recognize how un-FILFY you are first, Mr. Un-frenchable? Why do you get to be absurdly unqualified to make an assessment of someone’s MILF status as if you’re Chris Matthews or something.

I don’t know exactly how this works, but the only time you should really use that word is if you’re portraying Ari Gold, who is already an established, big-time lovable asshole, or if you’re another mother…NOT if you’re my 23 year old co-worker built like Peewee Herman.

3. I complain about the fact that I had to spend 15 minutes wiping down the single unisex toilet room every day before attaching a plastic funnel to each frozen, colander-sized breast, and extracting milk to the encouragement of the rah rah rah of my electric pump.

*hold em back, hold em back*

The sound of that infernal motor literally sounded like a football chant you’d hear for the defense.

Standing next to the paper towel carpet on the bathroom counter, trying not to touch anything and freezing my ass off, was degrading and phobia inducing. Fear of germs, people walking in on you (I’d forget to lock the doors sometimes), taking too long, sounding too loud, (hold em back!); all these things seemed like tepid complaints when I talked to women who had to pump in open cubicles, in restaurant bathrooms during business dinners, in airport bathrooms while co-workers waited outside.

This is something that needs so much more attention in the workplace. If the choice has been made to pump for your child after you return to work, a mother is faced with no provisions to support that action. I do know of one prominent company who designed lactation rooms into their headquarters, but I only know of one. It’s a difficult thing to track, because once a mother is beyond that period of her life, a relatively short 3 months to 2 years (for argument’s sake), the issue is easily pushed down their list of priorities and replaced with everything else that occupies their energy as a parent.

4. Shoes are to women what sports are to men.

How infuriating is that? I don’t know. I know this, the infighting between feminist camps is embarrasing. Whether you’re wearing high heels or rubber clogs with all those holes in them is irrelevant. The battle is won when a mandatory dress code is broken. Women don’t have to wear heels or skirts, but if we want to, it’s just one more thing to choose to do or not do. I was totally ashamed of liking heels or dresses…or even flowers until I was 30. Starting out in a male dominated field made me think that I needed to be like a man to be heard. I hate sports, shoulder pads, “ugly” shoes, things that were suggested to me as vehicles to a succesful career by old school feminist articles. It may be argued that I find high heeled shoes to be attractive because I’ve been brainwashed into thinking that way, but I find more truth in remembering how I was persuaded into thinking it was wrong to be feminine, to find my own body attractive or acceptable. I did more damage to my back and neck by rolling my shoulders forward to mask my chest than wearing heels ever did.

Shoulder pads to bulk up your silhouette? Insane. All the advice on how to be taken more seriously? Talk with a deep voice, firm grip, think like a man – throw out your credentials willy nilly (men respect that). Ridiculous.

If you can find something honestly complimentary to say about a woman’s shoes, or dress, name any superficial item of clothing, there is almost always a truly genuine topic of conversation waiting at the end of it. Men will mostly just keep their conversations about sports, about sports, for the life of their friendship.

5. I now will list 5 people who will be tagged to carry on this meme. Talk about feminism. 5 times. but not like I did because I cheated.

bluemilk
bianca bean
mama saga
mama nabi

*you*

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